my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
