Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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