I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
