so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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