Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
