The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
