do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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