If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i out mim tonsoeep
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