I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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