They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
