i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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