he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize