I hate all girls vehemently.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Two words: nipple clamps
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