How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize