You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
