Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
