Can Purell be used as lube?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
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Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize