Apparently you make a good broom.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
