She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
