Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
