Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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