can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
