he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
