We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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