So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
