honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I will pee on everything he values.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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