just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT