Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
