Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize