This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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