sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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