to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
