I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
FUCK WHALES
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
