I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
