Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
