OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
