you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
