So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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