I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
