Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
