remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she told me i tasted like america
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."