Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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(740): Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong? http://tfl.nu/7sw3

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(214): View more from Texas

No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"

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(214): No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend" http://tfl.nu/qrpo

Replies (11) Good night (4486) Bad night (1020)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.

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(204): between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/u2b0

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(516): View more from New York

I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love

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(516): I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love http://tfl.nu/fo0q

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(305): View more from Florida

Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.

(786): View more from Florida

How high are you right now..

(305): View more from Florida

I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.

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(305): Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind. (786): How high are you right now.. (305): I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT. http://tfl.nu/q5i7

Replies (29) Good night (10152) Bad night (962)
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(+32): View more from Belgium

guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for

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(+32): guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for http://tfl.nu/2pon

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(201): View more from New Jersey

at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

youre welcome

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(201): at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.." (1-201): youre welcome http://tfl.nu/sjha

Replies (10) Good night (5583) Bad night (861)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.

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(913): The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up. http://tfl.nu/odda

Replies (5) Good night (4133) Bad night (765)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day

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(316): I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day http://tfl.nu/h30u

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(320): View more from Minnesota

What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.

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(320): What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off. http://tfl.nu/fj7u

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(773): View more from Illinois

she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep

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(773): she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xysb

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(760): View more from California

I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.

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(760): I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional. http://tfl.nu/8oha

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music

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(787): They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music http://tfl.nu/mg50

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(818): View more from California

I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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(818): I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u http://tfl.nu/ckyh

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.

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(228): Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high. http://tfl.nu/9q6n

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