so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"