if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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