Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize