In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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