I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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