I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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