You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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