So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
