yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
