Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
