The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you win again, gameday.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
