the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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