I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
