just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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