i was born a porn star she said
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
