porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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